so clearly someone should app a super competent au kariya /nods
hhhhhhhhhhummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Not great. Not awful. Having the Wavers back really boosted her because . . . she doesn't feel threatened by them and can 'do things' with and to them that are positive and not futile feeling 8D; She and Manver have a good relationship too.
Innnn general she feels like a failure for dying so early. She's been the only Rin too so it is a bit like :') Oh, only I fucked up this badly :');;; I see. Sometimes she regrets her life choices and then hates herself for it. In a lot of ways her internal stuff is all torn up and very upsetting to her. But since she's Rin she just powers through it.
She is so glad Tokiomi is here because - she feels stupid. And blind. When it comes to how she viewed him in the past and working through her issues on him :') is helpful for her but it is also super painful. And continues to wear away at her sense of self in a bit too because even though she can be like IM OVER YOU WHATEVER that Tohsaka part of her is huge and she often brings it out to support herself so then being like oH . . . WELL . . . IT'S ROTTEN . . . IS . . . difficult.
Gil is gone for the first time in her life since he was summoned in the fourth war. This is weirdly upsetting for her and she tries to not think about it. Especially because he is irredeemably a prick.
Archer is gone and. She's upset about that. . . but also upset at herself for being upset because it isn't like Archer is the type to stick around why did you get that invested you stupid girl!!!!!!!
So. A lot of . . . mad at self feelings. And general I suck at things feelings. BUT WHATEVER. I CAN TOHSAKA RIN THROUGH THIS I THINK . . .!? it is kind of amazing she hasn't had a real breakdown in a way.
HOW IS TOKIOMI |D besides being a nature. . . hoarder.
no subject
hhhhhhhhhhummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Not great. Not awful. Having the Wavers back really boosted her because . . . she doesn't feel threatened by them and can 'do things' with and to them that are positive and not futile feeling 8D; She and Manver have a good relationship too.
Innnn general she feels like a failure for dying so early. She's been the only Rin too so it is a bit like :') Oh, only I fucked up this badly :');;; I see. Sometimes she regrets her life choices and then hates herself for it. In a lot of ways her internal stuff is all torn up and very upsetting to her. But since she's Rin she just powers through it.
She is so glad Tokiomi is here because - she feels stupid. And blind. When it comes to how she viewed him in the past and working through her issues on him :') is helpful for her but it is also super painful. And continues to wear away at her sense of self in a bit too because even though she can be like IM OVER YOU WHATEVER that Tohsaka part of her is huge and she often brings it out to support herself so then being like oH . . . WELL . . . IT'S ROTTEN . . . IS . . . difficult.
Gil is gone for the first time in her life since he was summoned in the fourth war. This is weirdly upsetting for her and she tries to not think about it. Especially because he is irredeemably a prick.
Archer is gone and. She's upset about that. . . but also upset at herself for being upset because it isn't like Archer is the type to stick around why did you get that invested you stupid girl!!!!!!!
So. A lot of . . . mad at self feelings. And general I suck at things feelings. BUT WHATEVER. I CAN TOHSAKA RIN THROUGH THIS I THINK . . .!? it is kind of amazing she hasn't had a real breakdown in a way.
HOW IS TOKIOMI |D besides being a nature. . . hoarder.