didnteventry | (no subject)

how does kida feel about mikado going on this princess protection mission

He thinks he should stop doing crazy dangerous things??? I mean Mikado is the only person who can validate his existence when he's the "copy", so he's really freaked out by the idea of losing him.

What does Mikado think of what Kida said to Izaya :"D

at least he's the one being protected, so if you lose him you have like 5 people to blame

he does understand it, but never thought he'd hear kida say something like that out loud! like masaomi-san told him that the reason he never wanted to do anything in z was that he's special, not that he's undesirable or anything.

does that tie into his double trying to mack him at any given moment?

A LITTLE? It's like... the Kidas developed very differently re: sex. For other Kida it's easy, and for my Kida it's also easy but it's... cheap. It's not valuable on an emotional level, whereas it's a chief method of emotional communication for his double. So for Z Kida, it would feel like... idk like giving your mom a piece of bubble gum for Christmas. His body is not a special gift, and he can't imagine feeling like it's a gift worthy of Mikado. So it would really piss him off if he knew about the kissing and such! That's an insult, in his head.

How's Gokudera doin'

He's, uh... Getting there? He's still mad at himself that he died, that he made the Tenth upset by dying and couldn't do his job right. He knows there's nothing he can do now to change that, but it hasn't stopped him from being upset about it. Since he's post-series, he's come from a time where everything is mostly good and happy and he has so much and people like him and care about him, and has been put into a place with... nothing. Everyone who knows him here either knows Nova, or is a canonmate from Nova's universe. And it doesn't help that Nova tried to kill him! I mean, some people know they're basically different people and have been nice to him and friendly, but he's still kind of feeling like that 10 year old kid on the streets with no place again.

How is Lancer doing in Z RE: Saber?

What's new?

SABER... Well, he's kind of in an odd place. He keeps running into Prayer but he's doing his best to keep it completely under wraps, getting himself healed if he can't cover up the injuries and generally pretending to be happy.

He's in a really good place with Ky right now though, so he has lots of genuine happiness there. He didn't and doesn't expect his romantic feelings to be returned, but having them "accepted" feels really great. He didn't get shoved away and he's able to have a casual kind of closeness with someone he loves, which he's missed. There's no expectation or demand so it's balancing out Prayer pretty well.

He is very worried about Lancer, though. :( That's his bff and he's afraid for him and afraid to lose him. So he's agonizing over that and hoping they find a solution asap, 'cause he doesn't want to be any closer to being alone again. And he really hates seeing someone he cares so much for unhappy. So basically he's spending all his time on taking care of his peeps and his own sanity, and not doing much else.

HOW IS LANCER HOLDING UP?

Lancer wants Cayden back so bad it's about to drive him crazy. Getting out and doing things with Saber around helps because he knows he can always kind of hide from things behind Saber if things get to be too much. Taking care of Ravel a bit also helps some. Mostly though he's terrified of having to get a new master and having that master abuse the seals or refuse to release him back to Cayden when he returns. He knows there are other ways to get prana but that's kind of an awkward thing to ask.

Mostly just holding it all in very close and trying not to lose it completely.

What all has been going on with Saber and Prayer?

TELL ME ABOUT BYAKUYA'S FEELINGS ON KIREI

even tho there isn't a kirei in thusia

OH GOD KIREI. Basically he is Byakuya's least favorite person ever next to Zouken. He's terrified of him and he hates him and he'd do whatever he could to undermine him, given the opportunity. Kirei tormented him and created KotoShirou and the two of them had hideous influence on Shinji. Basically, Kirei made his life a living hell and he wishes he could kick his face in but he'd never have the guts to. But due to him he also has a weird thing about God being full of shit. The only good thing that ever came from Kirei is that if he hadn't picked on both of them, Byakuya & Kariya would have gone on hating each other. He's also attached to Shirou but he can't thank Kirei for that because... reasons...

How does Rin feel knowing Sakura got to go home in Byakuya's timeline?

um

she is like well at least a sakura had a happier life because she knows her sakura had a shitty life and the one that was in thusia did briefly and from what she hers canon sakura's life sucked soooooooooooo

also she still hates matous \:D/

so what would byakuya do if his kirei showed up

He woooullld get really upset and try to hide from him. He'd also make sure Kiritsugu was aware of him so he wouldn't get surprised! And then maybe ask him what they should do... He'd move in with someone else if he could too, for his own safety! But he'd be really unsure as to how it would affect Shirou, and so he'd probably try to hiss and puff at him to make him go away. Like an ineffectual alleycat.

What would a canon Kirei do meeting Byakuya, if you had one. :")

Not really care in general but then care because of Byakuya's hilarious reactions \:D/

So apathy to interest I suppose!

So what would Byakuya do with a Kariya

DEPENDS...

He and his Kariya reached a level of awkward acceptance! At first when the war was over Byakuya was really super nasty to him for bringing Kirei around, but after awhile they kind of leveled it out and got along. Buuut they were never close or particularly attached to each other either. So if his Kariya showed up he'd keep an eye out for him and maybe have some "only I can bully my family" attitude going, but otherwise would be content to mostly ignore him.

Ifff it was a canon or other Kariya he'd get really frustrated really fast and it could go badly. A Kariya who fucked up like canon Kariya would just infuriate him and he'd probably end up saying some really shitty things if not actually getting into a fight with him. He wouldn't like the idea that other Kariyas were too weak to change anything, and that they ended up just leaving again by dying. The thought that other Byakuyas were left alone with their family shit again is painful, and it comes with a lot of guilt from knowing what the other versions or him may or may not have had part in. But that'd also just drive it home that his life was worse in some ways in his timeline but better in others, and that it was his Kariya that enabled him to live a life that left him with less guilt and a better mental state than other Byakuyas got.

So then he'd kind of miss his own little brother and fuss about it and maybe take it out on whatever Kariya was there.

How's Rin doin in general?

so clearly someone should app a super competent au kariya /nods

hhhhhhhhhhummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Not great. Not awful. Having the Wavers back really boosted her because . . . she doesn't feel threatened by them and can 'do things' with and to them that are positive and not futile feeling 8D; She and Manver have a good relationship too.

Innnn general she feels like a failure for dying so early. She's been the only Rin too so it is a bit like :') Oh, only I fucked up this badly :');;; I see. Sometimes she regrets her life choices and then hates herself for it. In a lot of ways her internal stuff is all torn up and very upsetting to her. But since she's Rin she just powers through it.

She is so glad Tokiomi is here because - she feels stupid. And blind. When it comes to how she viewed him in the past and working through her issues on him :') is helpful for her but it is also super painful. And continues to wear away at her sense of self in a bit too because even though she can be like IM OVER YOU WHATEVER that Tohsaka part of her is huge and she often brings it out to support herself so then being like oH . . . WELL . . . IT'S ROTTEN . . . IS . . . difficult.

Gil is gone for the first time in her life since he was summoned in the fourth war. This is weirdly upsetting for her and she tries to not think about it. Especially because he is irredeemably a prick.

Archer is gone and. She's upset about that. . . but also upset at herself for being upset because it isn't like Archer is the type to stick around why did you get that invested you stupid girl!!!!!!!

So. A lot of . . . mad at self feelings. And general I suck at things feelings. BUT WHATEVER. I CAN TOHSAKA RIN THROUGH THIS I THINK . . .!? it is kind of amazing she hasn't had a real breakdown in a way.

HOW IS TOKIOMI |D besides being a nature. . . hoarder.

Tell me things about Byakuya and Kiritsugu.

Edited 2013-01-05 03:46 (UTC)

THINGS

God idk these guys. Byakuya came in thinking of Kiritsugu as this terrifying and mysterious contradiction. Kirei called him "someone who couldn't save anything", which implies he wanted to save things. But he's also the kind of person to torture someone who has little to do with the situation, so he didn't want to think he was really a heroic type, even if when he saw him he was clearly a man full of pain! He was also clearly the kind of guy who would save and take in a child. Sooo meeting him was scary, as he tried to figure out which Kiritsugu mental image was correct.

At first he concluded that the heroism and general niceness must be fake, but after the KotoShirou stuff really got going, he realized otherwise. Now he's still afraid of what Kerry can and will do if he has to, and he's still jumpy, but he believes that "Emiya Kiritsugu is a good person". He'd defend that if told otherwise. He knows "good" isn't easy and things aren't black and white, and he understands self-loathing, but he admires Kiritsugu's strength and conviction even so. Anddd he feels kind of safe around him. Like he knows that he could get lashed out at if he provokes it, but he's also pretty sure that Kiritsugu won't let anything really bad happen in front of him if he can't help it.

In short he actually finds Kiritsugu to be an admirable if intimidating person, and he likes him. He thinks he deserves happiness (way more than Byakuya himself does), anddd if he wasn't 100% tsun he'd want to be able to call him a friend. But he's never had a positive connection outside of his wife, so he's still way too guarded to relax and just be friendly, or to assume that anyone would want to be his friend in the first place.

REVERSE?

... and thus Matou Byakuya somehow joins the Emiya Kiritsugu support club...

Kiritsugu admittedly didn't think much of Byakuya to start with. The whole incident with shooting Byakuya in the war happened only as a means to an end--it just turned out that that end was a dead one and so shooting Byakuya was for nothing. It's not something Kiritsugu's thought too hard about in his life except maybe when remembering past mistakes and misdeeds. He never really thought about what happened to the guy he shot up. He already had so many much worse and horrific things to occupy his mind...

And then he met the guy in Thusia and honestly wanted to at least make ammends for the misdeed--but Byakuya gave him the cold shoulder, told everyone Kiritsugu was a douchebag, and basically treated him like a mass murdering nutjob. Kiritsugu mostly just accepted this kind of behavior because... well. that's. kind of how people from the wars have been treating him. He has no illusions in Thusia, it's pretty much his judgement for what happened during his life on Earth to him. Once, when Kiritsugu and Saber were fighting, Kiritsugu stated that he's allowed any mistreatment, defaming, and slighting from those he had wronged in life. And that's pretty much what he's kept to. So he allowed Byakuya his, what Kiritsugu perceived as, anger and righteousness and just went about his business.

Except then the Shirou issue came up and Byakuya said THE WRONG THING and Kiritsugu lost his patience and temper. Basically, there's a line with the above conditions and that line comes to Kiritsugu's family. Shirou is a part of that family--even if he ends up a Kotomine. Byakuya crossed that line with the whole "It would have been better if you had left him in the fire" line. Thankfully, Iri came when she did and helped defuse the situation but that was pretty much what let Kiritsugu know a lot of things about that timeline--it also opened up the avenue for further interactions.

This is the point where Byakuya made the transition from Someone Kiritsugu Once Wronged to Someone Kiritsugu Can Work With. It's an important distinction, because despite what Byakuya might think about himself, knocking on Kiritsugu's door and talking to him directly about Shirou and their situation, the circumstances of their deaths and their motives and ideas on how to approach it... for someone who was REALLY VERY OBVIOUSLY CLEARLY TERRIFIED OF KIRITSUGU to do something like that took aaa loooooot of shored up courage and something of a spine and determination. It's primarily due to this that Kiritsugu feels like he ca rely on Byakuya for at least some part of the Shirou issue.

Admittedly, Kiritsugu sees them both as being weak--Kiritsugu's crippling emotions and his condition as a result of the curse that killed him and Byakuya's lack of self-worth and physical strength coupled with the abused parental-spouse thing he has going on not to mention recovering alcoholic... but out of the two Kiritsugu is the more capable one in a lot of ways, so in a way he feels responsible for Byakuya--especially when it comes to Shirou. Byakuya clearly could be a much better person than he is now, but he's distinctly broken by the circumstances of the Matous and the Kotomines, so it will be a long while yet before he gets anywhere. Still, though, Kiritsugu also acknowledges that Byakuya's more capable in the parenting department than he is. With this, Kiritsugu would feel a bit envious but instead just acknowledges the facts of his life and lets Byakuya handle KotoShirou since he's familiar with him and the Break Him Or Kill Him choice isn't one Kiritsugu wants to have to make again.

Beyond all of this, Kiritsugu is full of wry bemusement when it comes to Byakuya's change of heart regarding his view of Kiritsugu himself. He's not quite sure what's brought it on--mostly because Kiritsugu hasn't really done anything to show that's he's any different than usual? But then, Kiritsugu's always been very bad at seeing himself from other people's perspectives. As it is, he's currently Okay with Byakuya and pretty much will work with him. Maybe even will sic daughters with food on him. :|

SABER ON KIRITSUGU?

Kirei finally shows up and snaps Shirou emotionally in two over his knee ftlulz: what would Byakuya do?

Probably yell at Kirei to stay the fuck away from Shirou after that. :"D HE'S NOT YOUR SON ANYMORE SCREW OFF SO WE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIM. It'd be good for Shirou to be able to progress, but it'd hurt him a lot and Byakuya wouldn't want to see Kirei fuck with him any more than necessary. :( He'd be too afraid to stand up for long though.

How has the current Emiya stuff affected the way Shirou sees Byakuya? HAS IT AT ALL?

Byakuya is a funny thing because 80% of the "I don't care, except he could help me get Shinji and also I have to take care of dad's things" is still pretty genuine, not for lack of effect, but because Shirou's so stubborn he forces things to stay that way. Were he not digging his heels into the ground, he'd probably be genuinely concerned with Byakuya's well being simply because objectively, Byakuya's dismantled a lot of the ideas that Shirou had about him being a shitty father.

But Shirou's really good at making things fit the mold he wants them to fit into -- his whole identity and his perceptions of other people are practically based around that. He decided that Kirei was his father and that Byakuya and Kariya were jerks because it was convenient and less painful than coping with Kiritsugu's murder or the fact that Shinji is just a terrible person. So it's a behavioral pattern that's going to take a lot to break down. For what it's worth, being away from Kirei and Shinji probably helps Byakuya's case.

So it's affected him a little - just not all of it on a conscious level.

How's Tokiomi been since coming back to Thusia????

Edited 2013-01-06 11:17 (UTC)